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I don’t know why I haven’t visited my own blog for so long. Life has been great. I’m working on my thesis, classes, exams, and getting ready to graduate in May. I’m waiting to see where I will go to do my doctorate. Life is fulfilling and hopeful. I don’t know who will be reading this article. Not many of my friends knows this place. I started this blog to practice writing, but I didn’t really come very often. Nevertheless, I have been reading some great books about writing – On Writing Well and A Writer’s Coach. Is anybody working on non-fiction writing just like I am? I would like to hear about your strategy!

An anti-procrastination poem

He slept beneath the moon,

He basked beneath the sun;

He lived a life of going-to-do

And died with nothing done.

James Albery’s “Epitaph Written for Himself”

stress

Life has been filled with stress between this article and the last one, “fun of research.” The first project of this summer is a thesis-like document, which took me about six weeks to finish the first draft. Now the next project – the written part of the diagnostic exam – is coming in just a few days. It includes Western music history, world music, and terms and concepts in musicology/ethnomusicology. The range is so broad and the exam so overwhelming. There’s so much to understand and memorize, while I am still so new to the field. Therefore, my stress level is extremely high. Various symptoms of stress include being nervous, anxious, upset, hard to concentrate, procrastinating, and even insomniac. This is a new experience: stress is sabtoging my studying instead of helping. It makes me realize that I can’t let it control me. It’s important to distinguish Medieval madrigal from the madrigal of the sixteenth century, but it’s as important to take care of my body and find ways to relief stress. Soon I will finish the written part of the exam. Hopefully I will always remember the significance of coping with stress, managing time, studying smart, and taking time to appreciate life.

Fun of research

Where is the fun of research?

It’s everywhere. It’s like figuring out a puzzle, piecing together a picture, and creating a newborn theory. The possibility is infinite. Every time you discover something new, even if you have thought about the same thing for a hundred times. Even writing, a rather intimidating part, can be so much fun. It’s not easy to express ideas with words – the writer doesn’t usually have a chance to further clarify ideas. That’s the challenge, and at the same time the fun part. During the rewriting process, there’s always another way to rephrase what has been written. Sometimes you wonder if you really wrote the article – ideas can look so different from the way they are in your head. Nevertheless, when the ideas are finally presented beautifully and clearly on paper, you feel accomplished and satisfied. It’s not even important if anyone reads the article, because you have had the fun of research.

Movie – Dr. Seuss’ Hears a Who

All right, I know, two movies in one week? I’m trying to figure out things – what? I’m not quite sure, yet.

Dr. Seuss’ Hears a Who. It has got some good reviews. Besides, it seems like a movie that can bring me motivation.

Horton, whose voice is by Jim Carrey, is an elephant who hears a voice from a speck, the “Who” planet. He is certain that there are people on this speck, but nobody believes him. The speck is floating in the air. It could be destroyed if it keeps flying. The Mayor on the speck hears Horton’s voice and starts communicating with him. Therefore, they both understand that the Who planet is in danger. Nevertheless, no citizen believes the Mayor.

Horton is blamed for believing something that cannot be heard, seen, or touched. On the other hand, the Mayor is considered insane when everybody else happily believes that their planet is just fine. Both Horton and the Mayor persevere in what they believe. Their action and courage are respectful. The passion in their eyes cannot be overlooked. The movie is a virtual world, but is the strong belief in do the right thing also virtual?

Movie – Forgetting Sarah Marshall

In this story, Peter is devastated from the breakup; therefore he decides to go on a vacation in Hawaii, where his ex-girlfriend Sarah and her new boyfriend are enjoying their time together. A beautiful and kind customer service representative, Rachel, becomes more and more essential to Peter. So the story begins.

The storyline looks ordinary, but the movie is not. Its sense of humor lightens the heartbreaking memories we all have from breakups, although we all hope things can be as easy in our lives. The energy Peter gains from the sea is positive. Genuineness in people finds its place in the healing process. The Dracula Musical – A Taste of Love – is so cute! It adds flavor to the fun, encouraging romance-comedy movie.

One more thing I have to add – Jason Segel is so cute!

It’s a great movie – perfect for my not-going-so-well academic life.

determination

This is my first summer in the Ph.D. studies in musicology. One long research paper, three subjects in the diagnostic exam, and one essay expressing my goal in musicology – these are my projects for this summer. I was motivated during the first two semesters. At that time, it seemed like the summer could be a blast without fixed schedule. Nevertheless, I feel so lost now. I am not focused or disciplined. I start to question my ability. Do I really like doing independent research? Am I really able to finish this terminal degree? Is the fear of failure stopping me from putting all my focus into work? Or am I still in the transition between a graduate student and a Ph.D. student? I know I love music, research or performance. I know I love learning. I know I love reading. But what’s happening now? Where is my determination?